OUR HORSES, - THE HERD AND THEIR ALTER EGOS. WHICH IS WHICH?
Toss And His Favourite, Self Selected Toothpick.
TRIGGER - Trig Trig - Laid back old boy, rather frayed cloth cap, possibly pipe smoking. “ No respect, youngsters these days! No respect!”
TOSS - Tosspot - He and Trigger together are the two old codgers. They’d be sauntering off down to the pub of an afternoon and playing dominoes. Toss is the Boss and still inclined to show his teeth to young whippersnappers. He’d be saying “ In MY day the local policeman would have clipped you round the ear for behaviour like that!!”
SPINDLE - The aristocrat of the family. VERY well bred and boy he knows it. Likes to be with his peer group, very unhappy if closeted with lesser mortals, not on his intellectual level. Happy to have a bevy of pretty females in tow but treats them very badly
CHLOE - Flippertygibbet of a young lady. Dutiful and polite whilst with her main boyfriend, the handsome Ben, but also very happy to have a night out with the girls and go to the pub or the latest rave.
BEN - Bit of a hunk really and has aspirations to one day lead the herd. Guards his girlfriend very jealously and is likely to dish out a right hook to any young male who ventures near to Chloe.
POD - A bit of a voluptuous lady, very feminine, no particular boyfriends at present but likes to play the field. Quite keen on her tucker and probably ought to go the gym more regularly, but only if she had the right leotard to wear and could be seen in the right company.
SGT. PEPPER - Sarge. Cheeky bloody teenager, one of the No Respect brigade. Thinks he knows it all and quite happy to tell anyone how smart he is. A bit scruffy clothing wise. Tie under one ear and cap on back of head. Unmentionable things in his school shorts pockets.
SANDY - or Jack The Lad. VERY important person. Get out of his way when he’s coming through. Might be seen chatting up the girls or standing on street corners looking rather seedy. Needs to get his hair cut and washed and smarten up.
ELLIE - Ellieburgel - Rather shy mysterious lady, not often seen out in public. Can be quite short tempered but this has a lot to do with the shyness. Looking for one person, sex unknown, to form the perfect relationship with, but no one has yet measured up to her high standards.
COCO - One of the new boys and still trying to find his way around, not quite knowing who to stand next to and who to avoid. Very tall and a bit gawky and still tripping over his big feet.
SQUIRT - Squirty. A flirtacious young madam and definitely moody. Wears her skirts a tad too short, you know, the cake frill variety, and then gets upset when boys make passes.
COLESHILL - I hate to say it but he may just slide into the slightly boring category. - unfashionable suit, boring spectacles, boring but well paid job, no night life. Likes TV dinners and takes his washing home to MUM once a week. Only aspiration is to join Toss and Trigger at the top, or at least share their table in the pub.
ROO - Ruby. The Boss Lady on the block, and boy you better believe it! Definitely a Larger Size Woman, but pleading starvation as she squeezes into a giant sized posh frock and frightfully unsuitable high heels which are giving her bunions.
JACK - A rather wild type, not yet tamed by some female. Hangs out with the fellas, good for a game of rugby or a bit of rough housing. Drinks too much beer on a night out but suffers the hangover quietly alone.
DELLA - Bit of a mixed up young lady. Had a tough start in life, hanging round racetracks with unsavoury characters, and moved job and home several times. Been here a couple of years now and settling in. Is one of the Boss ladies in a group of similar minded newbies.
KADEY - The Cute Young Filly with bunches and blond highlights, but tresses need a professional trim soon. Doesn't realise how young and unproven she is and prone to throw her weight around. She and Della don't always see eye to eye and pavement discussions are the norm.
DAVEY - Jaccka's friend and quite a tough guy. He may have knuckledusters in his pocket or a wee knife strapped to his leg for dangerous situations. Has two speeds in life - couch potato or full steam ahead with no gears in between. Current girl friend is Rachael but he has been seen out with Tina, who looked a tad nervous of his reputation.
BOWIE - To you The Right Honourable Mr Bowie. First names not permitted. Hoping for a knighthood in the Queen's Birthday Honours list, but, in the meantime, is slumming with the delectable Cat. Daddy told him to sow his oats while young before selecting another Right Honourable, or better, for his future wife.
SCOUT - A more solid build than Perkins and more bossy. The two, though a year apart, look similar enough to be taken for twins. Always together which is slightly problematic when one goes on a job and the other is left to fret on his own.
GALLEON - So new up here he is still practically plastic wrapped with price tags on. Very tall but very well built and has obviously been working out at the gym, six pack to the fore. Already chasing round after the ladies. Some of the existing locals not too pleased about this brash young man
HARRY - Evicted from his last home as not fast enough on the athletics team, other , younger more exciting prospects snapping at his heels. Just moved house to premises with Cat and Bowie and Shimmer and is making a play for Cat who quite likes his youthful attentions.
Who Is Making The Funnier Face? Answers On A Postcard Please.
BOOGIE - Boogieboy. A great big softie, loves cuddles. Sucks up to teacher but she thinks he’s gorgeous too. A bit of a Mummy’s boy but practising starting to boss the other blokes around which sometimes gets him kicked out.
GLEN - The newest boy on the block and not sure which gang to sign up to. Perhaps he should have stickers put on instead of permanent tattoos. Been following a really cool bird all winter and hoping to pluck up the nerve to pop the question one day soon.
CHILE - Chillibean or Red Hot Chilli Pepper, according to mood. A really cute young lady, hair in bunches and pink lip stick. Been there and done that but her reputation is unsullied.
KILMUN - Obviously of Roman parentage, very aristocratic nose. Tall and rather gawky. Not sure who is friend and who is foe and inclined to hang out on the edge of the group. Very fond, from a distance of course, of a tall blond lady.
BLUEPRINT - Blooey-Ooey. Had a rather wild start in life but settling down nicely now. Ten years into a job looking after mixed up kids and takes her work very seriously. Being courted by a red headed Toy Boy who treats her like dirt but jealously guards her from all other suitors.
BRANDY - Muscle Sprout, Pipsqueak. Very well bred with an impeccable pedigree. Likes to be asked to all the Debutant Balls. Walks around as if there is a bad smell under his nose. has a distinct Purple Passion for a very tall blond lady.
SULTAN - Family Man - I have responsibilities, expensive wife, mortgage, TWO mistresses, one young fella hanging around who needs keeping in his place. But I keep cool, man, I am the boss of my wee family.
LOTSIE - A very complex lady! Madly in love one moment and in a killer mood the next. Possibly needs Hormone Replacement Therapy to calm her down. Very attached to her new boyfriend, Glen, but hen pecks him something rotten. He should stand up for himself.
CLONBERN LADY - Clonny Clonk, Miss Piggy. The Jekyll and Hyde, Very professional one moment and then quite evil tempered if people don’t get out of her way in a hurry. Skirts too short for her age and station in life but not even her best friend dares tell her!
DUSKY - The teenager, just starting to find her way in life. Very fond of her Aunt Blooey. Who she likes to follow to and from the shops. First love is a much older fella and the family doesn’t approve but she has to find out for herself that he is already married and has responsibilities.
BRIDIE - No longer one of the hot young things but still likes a night out with the girls. Hasn’t been quite the same. relationship wise, since her best boy, Murray, moved to Blind River. Usually hangs out with a rather stroppy brunette and very jealous because THIS lady had an illegitimate daughter.
DARKY - The afore mentioned Stroppy Brunette. Used to be a real wild Sheila, but settled right down with motherhood, although not THAT keen on nappies, dribbling infants etc and got Aunt Blooey to take over the mothering bit as it was bad for her image.
ROSIE - The new girl in town and one would expect her to tread carefully until she finds her way, but whenever there's a cat fight there she is, right in the middle, pulling hair, being a right bitch and then being sweetness and light when the grown ups are watching and wanting everyone to love her and be her friend.
TOPPER - Quite obviously went to Private Boarding School. Parents very Well To Do. Now out in the real world, having left University, but unsure whether to work for his living or live off Daddy's millions. Permanent nasty smell under his nose.
BEEBY - Working Class roots. Has had to work very hard to get where he is now. Very handsome, quite smart and currently hanging out with Topper explaining the facts of life and how to survive in the real world.
JACCKA - Another Jack the Lad. Very handsome, snazzy dresser with white spats and too much Brillcream. Best friend of, and goes nightclubbing with Davey. Rumour has it that they drink too much.
CAT - Rather a curvaceous lady. Not in her first flush of youth but still chases the fellas and flirts outrageously. Currently befriending the new boy on the block, Mr Bowie, who is upper class material but has fallen on hard times.
PERKINS - With a name like that he would make a good butler. Quiet personality and fits in well with most groups. Doesn't stress about life. Usually hangs out with his kid brother Scout.
MILLIE - Pretty young thing newly arrived on the block, having come hot hoof from the local Women's Refuge. Well born and well raised but passed around and fell on very hard times. Things are looking up for her here and she is making friends. Discovered the delights of eating apples, something denied to her when she was living on the streets.
SHIMMER - Gorgeous Strawberry Roan young lady, currently been working at the local hairdressers where she has practised hair colouration rather too much so her own tresses are a tad thin, pony tail will need extensions. Hangs out at fav coffee outlet with Cat and Bowie plus new boy Harry.